Hearts, Hammers and Head Injuries
by best with breadsticks
Summary: When Chad Dylan Cooper comes to guest star on So Random!, will one little event in the photo booth leave Sonny and him in hot water? :In need of an opinion whether or not to continue:


Author's Note: Okay, so here's the deal. I lied when I said that 'Driving Miss. Sonny' was my first venture in the SWAC fandom. Actually this was. I had only seen about three, maybe three and half, episodes and wrote this back in July. I really was just writing this for my little sister. I didn't know the characters very well, considering I'd only seen like _The Heartbreak Kids, West Coast Story, Sketchy Beginnings, _and part of _Promises, Prom-misses._ I was kinda of going in blind. So, what I'm asking is, is this story really worth continuing considering everything that happened by the end of the first season? I mean, I wrote this long before _Guess Who's Coming to Guest Star_ and _Sonny:So Far _premiered_, _and it kind of has a mixed plot of those two episodes in one. But I don't really know if it's worth writing this anymore after seeing those episodes (and pretty much the whole rest of the first season). I don't know. I actually sort of have a plot line planned out in my head... Yeah...

Oh, and if I did decide to write this all out. I would re-edit this chapter into three chapters. So, if I do decide to make this a story, you've all already read the first three chapters. Yay, congrats! Maybe I'll add stuff, but it all depends. I broke the story up into the chapters, so you can see where they start and end. Yeah, I hope, even if it's not worth continuing, that it's enjoyable. I actually did put a fair amount of work into it, but I let it sit and then become inferior by the show itself. Anyway, enjoy. Have a nice day...okay, bye.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything _Sonny with a Chance _related.

***

"So, this week's script is pretty simple, right?" Sonny smiled, as she waved her arms sporadically while she spoke. "Just a few minor things to keep in mind, but nothing too hard, right?"

"Oh, Sonny," Tawni forced a smile upon her face as she half-skipped over to Sonny. "Always so happy and sunny – ha, you're parents really got that one right."

Sonny smiled, hugging her script to her chest, swinging joyfully back and forth. "Aww…Thanks, Tawn-"

"Stop it." The smile on Tawni's face quickly disappeared. "You can't actually think all of this," she waved her hand over the thirty page long script, "is easy."

Sonny swiftly responded in her ever-hopeful tone. "But, come on, guys. We've preformed things ten times harder than this flawlessly. We've got all the talent. The next step is just memorizing some silly lines."

"You know, Sonny, I think I'm going to have to – on this rare occasion – admit that Tawni's right." Grady stood up from his seat and paced over towards where Tawni was leaning up against the photo booth. "This is just a bit too much for us to handle."

"Come on, you guys." Sonny tried to put on her usual charm to pull the group together. They couldn't just give up. "Let's just go over it a few more times, and I'm sure we'll – Nico, Grady, where are you going?"

Nico and Grady turned when they were about halfway out the door. They both smiled innocently as they had no clue why Sonny was questioning them.

"Well," Nico started. "It seems like you're going to be going on a whole team spirit speech, and we're starving because we miss lunch trying to learn this, so if you don't mind, we'll be in the cafeteria…avoiding your speech. Bye."

And with that, Nico and Grady blew through the door and down the hallway.

"You know," Tawni said, as she and Zora inched toward the door. "They've got a point. Can't listen to a peppy team building speech on an empty stomach." She grabbed Zora's arm.

"Two good ideas in a row, Tawni." Zora laughed and shook her head. "This day is nuts. Now where were we?"

"Cafeteria?" Tawni asked, with a knowing grin on her face.

'Cafeteria." Zora nodded in agreement.

And soon, the two-some were rushing down the hallway away from Sonny and the prop room.

"Well then, okay." Sonny put on her 'be strong' face, and swallowed hard. "I don't need you all here to practice. I can do that myself." She looked at the script, finding the spot they left off on.

She began to read the words and half act them out as she paced the room.

"Oh please! Not my monkey! He plays the banjo. Have you ever seen a banjo playing monkey?" Sonny spoke in a high pitch, but suddenly lowered it for the next line. "I'm sorry, Ma'me, but the monkey must come with me. And no, I've never seen a banjo playing monkey."

Sonny stopped for a second and read down a little farther. Once she got a feel for the scene, she continued.

"And then—" She was cut off by another voice.

"And then he's hit by the foam hammer," Chad's voice preceded the rest of him as he strolled into the prop room of _So Random!._ His arms were stretched out as if he was performing a large, dramatic scene.

Sonny's mouth gaped for a second, while she read over her copy of the script. And sure enough it read '_and then he's hit by a foam hammer._' A classic _So Random! _moment yes, but not so classic that Mr. High and Mighty Chad could guess the phrase exactly.

"Seriously," Chad broke her thoughts. His arms dropped and spoke smugly. "He's hit with a _foam _hammer. No wonder no one watches this show. On _Mackenzie Falls_, it's all real."

"Chad," Sonny tossed her script on the table. "Why do you have a script?"

"Because I'm you're new cast member, sucker." He smirked, while doing his trademark hand gesture.

"What?" Sonny launched herself at him, trying to grab the script. "You're not serious. Give me that."

He chuckled. "Well, of course I'm not. Why would I want to join the cast of a show nobody watches?" His smirk returned, and he sort of bowed as he spoke. "I'm just guest starring. For ratings, of course. With Chad Dylan Cooper as the headline of _So Sucky-"_

Sonny growled somewhat, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes.

"Oh right, _random_. Not sucky. Sorry, my bad. I sometimes get confused. But anyway, with my name attached to next week's disaster, you're sure to get at least million new viewers."

"A million viewers?" Sonny raised an eyebrow. Yes, he was popular, but he wasn't _that_ popular.

"I have quite a following." He said arrogantly. Sonny rolled her eyes and crossed the room to the opposite corner.

"Well, we don't want them." She crossed her arms tighter and turned her back to him. "Now, leave. We've got to practice our show."

"Who's we?" Chad glanced around the room taking notice that no one, but Sonny and himself, were present. Maybe she had finally lost her mind.

Sonny, realizing that 'we' only meant her, tried to come up with an explanation on the fly; in other words, she rambled. "Well, they just left for a minute to go get more…_props_, so that we could make this the most random, _So Random!_ ever. Because that's how dedicated we are. We're willing to go the extra mile for Chad Dylan Cooper-less entertainment. So, ha!"

"They ditched you." He simply stated, taking one more look around the room before facing Sonny again.

Sonny's face fell, and a waterfall of tears rushed down her cheeks. "Yes," she cried/whined through her sobs.

She rushed back across the room, and she rested her head on Chad's chest. He patted her hair awkwardly, searching the room with his eyes for something to drape her on, so she wouldn't be using him.

"It's okay, Sonny. I'm sure that show will be just as terribl—I mean – fine." Chad wasn't one for comforting anyone.

"You think so." She took a step back and looked at him. He ignored the fact that he suit was damp, and reached out his hand to wipe away the stray tears left running down her cheek.

"Course." He smiled. "Hey, why don't we go over the part in since I'm here? That way this practice won't look so pathetic."

Sonny nodded and took a couple steps away from Chad, picking up her script from the table. Her old, blissful self had been revived. "Okay, then. You're playing…" She paused to read over the cast list. "My monkey..." She pronounced the words slowly, as she scrunched her face.

"That plays the banjo?" Sonny nodded. "Score!" He made a celebratory hand and arm gesture with his right arm. Sonny laughed.

"Glad you're excited, because here's the hard part, you being funny." She grinned. "Can you handle it?"

"You underestimate me, Sonny." He smirked in a charming way.

"Do I? Do I _really_?" She was close to his face, looking him the eyes. He let out a chuckle, and she echoed it. It was awkward being alone this long, and acting this way, but neither one seemed to care or notice. They were just caught up in the moment.

"Yes, yes. Really, you do." Chad strolled his way around the room. He threw his script on the table, and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm a good actor – which I can't say about you guys –"

"_Chad…_" Sonny grumbled in an annoyed tone.

"Kidding." He reassured her. "Anyway, as a good actor, I can do many things. And that includes _comedy_. So bring on your funny little sketch." He pulled his hands from his pockets and waved them around.

"Okay, then it's on!" Sonny snapped her fingers in a diamond around his face, puffing out her lips and shaking her head. It looked rather ridiculous to the outside world, but to Chad it was just Sonny being her playful, sunshiny self.

He tilted forward until his face was nearly pressed hard against hers. "Oh, it's _so_ on."

She pressed her face in closer. She stood up on her toes to make herself a bit taller, so that her face was aligned with his. Normally, Sonny would have flinched away at this sort of closeness, but due to the fact that she had started this verbal war, she had to finish with satisfaction. Once was she positioned, their classic oral war began yet again.

"Fine." She said with a usual amount of pride. There was no way she'd lose this war to a boy that wears more hair product than she does.

"Fine." He replied keeping his manliness. There was no way he'd lose this war to a girl. Especially not one who starred on _So Random!_ and had such a cute face.

And, as usual, Sonny went on to the next step of their war, the 'good, good' section, as she liked to call it.

"Good." She spat the word into his face. She was getting a bit cocky, but she couldn't back down. This was war, and currently she was on the offensive.

"Good." He countered rapidly. The word flew from his mouth as a natural reaction to her word. There was a way that this war was fought, and he wasn't going to be the one to miss it up randomly. He'd win this fight and then he'd gloat. That was how it went.

The next part of this brawl was not a statement, but the lone question they always asked one another, depending on who started the argument. And since this struggle had begun with Sonny, she was obligated to ask Chad the question.

"Are we good?" Her tone had unintentionally become a sort of sneering, overconfident mesh. Her typical manner was lost for the moment, and she was consumed in the battle. But Sonny knew once he responded with the correct response, their clash would be over and they would just act as nothing had happened.

"Oh, we are _so_ good." He answered correctly, a smirk playing on his lips. No matter how many times they fight this exact same argument, it doesn't get any less amusing than the very first time. Watching Sonny get all smug and aggravated was always a sight to see. And – no matter how much he denied it – he loved to fight her.

***

Sonny pivoted, spinning herself in a one-eighty fashion, until her back was to him. She held the script up to her eye level and pretended to read it. She shook her hair out and squinted her eyes.

"What you're not going to talk to me now?" Chad asked, while picking up his script from the table. "I thought we were allies."

"Yeah, I know." She turned about face. "But I always leave in a huff after these fights, so I couldn't break the routine. So, if you don't mind, could you go stand over in the photo booth, until I'm done being in a huff? We don't want to jinx ourselves." She waved him towards the photo booth.

Chad thought about going silently to his designated spot, but then he remembered that he was Chad Dylan Cooper and no one put Chad Dylan Cooper in a corner.

"Nobody puts Chad Dylan Cooper in the corner." He shot back, snapping his fingers in a way similar to the way Sonny done earlier. If it looked ridiculous for Sonny to snap her fingers in such a way, Chad just looked stupid.

"Chad," Sonny began to push him into the photo booth. "Stop quoting _Dirty Dancing_ and get in the photo booth!"

"I will not be silenced!" He attempted to dig his heels into the floorboards, and then remembered they were solid wood. So instead, he held onto the couch.

"Chad," she complained, pushing harder on his back. "Please, you're making this _so_ difficult for me to pretend that I'm mad at you."

"Making your life difficult is my specialty. It's one of the those talents I was born with." He smirked, looking up at the ceiling, and then back at Sonny, who had her arms crossed and was pouting.

"Okay, fine." He sighed. And with that, Chad walking into the photo booth, and Sonny closed the curtain on him.

Sonny moved away from the photo booth before she began her mock annoyed with Chad Dylan Cooper session. She strolled over to the table and dropped her script. And now, the festivities could begin.

"Ugh!" Sonny threw her arms in the air. "He is the most self-centered, conceited, arrogant, annoying, frustrating jerk I've ever met!"

There was a chuckle from the photo booth. Sonny took off her ballet flat and chucked it at the curtain of the booth. She smiled with pride at the 'Hey' that called back.

"Quiet, Chad. I'm still in my huff stage." She yelled in return.

"Sorry. It's just I didn't know you thought so highly of me that you'd spend time coming up with a list of adjectives for me. I'm honored." From inside the photo booth, he pressed his hand to his chest and acted like he was accepting an award.

She narrowed her eyes at the booth, before tuning him out and continuing her rant. "I mean he walks around like he owns the place –"

Chad cut her short. "I do own the place."

Sonny clenched her fists, as her face began to redden. "_Chad_." She was frustrated with all the interruptions. Was it physically possible for him to be quiet for ten minutes while she cleared her mind? Apparently that was too hard for him.

Sonny stomped her way over to the photo booth and threw open the curtain. She stepped in next to him, as he reached over her and closed the curtain behind her. It was dark for the most part, except for the small light at the front over the camera. The whole scene was awkward, and it didn't help that they were locked in an uncomfortable silence.

"Chad." Sonny asserted first.

Chad licked his bottom lip, biting it slightly. "Sonny." He said with a tiny nod.

There was another quiet moment, before Chad stated the completely obvious.

"Well…this is awkward…" He put his hands in his pockets and began to whistle. He glanced around the booth – at the camera, the light, the curtain, Sonny – it was kind weird to say the least.

"I didn't know you could whistle." Sonny raised an eyebrow.

"You're underestimating me again, Sonny. Just admit it, I'm too cool for you." He laughed at her expression.

"You've been watching _Camp Hip-Hop_ too much…"

There was a bang and crash from outside their little hideaway. No doubt the rest of the cast of _So_ _Random!_ had returned from their early lunch. Sonny's eyes went wide for a second, thinking about what they'll say if they find her and Chad in a dark, small space together. The rumors began to fly around in Sonny's head.

"We need to get out of here." Sonny forced her way through the curtain, getting herself twisted in the cloth. Instead of gracefully walking from the booth, Sonny did a face plant down onto the hard flooring.

Chad, not paying enough attention, followed in suit after Sonny, tripping over her and falling on top her.

"Ow," he said while lying on top of her.

It was then that Sonny realized that none of her cast mates were in the prop room. That wasn't to say there wasn't anyone other than herself and Chad in the prop room.

"This is the story of the century. The newest _So Random! _starlet and _Mackenzie Falls' _heartthrob, together in a small, enclosed area alone, doing who knows what. But that's what a journalist's imagination is for now isn't it?" Santiago Heraldo grinned from behind his notepad, while his cameraman got a close-up of Sonny and Chad laying on each other.

Sonny got to her feet in a rush. "We weren't doing anything." Her defense was weak when it came to the hounding paparazzi. They could be merciless when it came to having the biggest story. Both her and Chad had fallen victim to their horrid ways before, but now it was ten times worse.

"Well, you two know that, but the readers of Tween Weekly don't." He smirked manically.

Chad stood up and brushed himself off. It was time to sweet talk his way out of this.

"Come on now. Do you really want to hurt poor Sonny here? Because you know that announcing that I'm dating her would cause an uproar a of girls that might try to maul her." He put his arm around Santiago. "Think of the children."

Chad was letting his _Mackenzie Falls_-ness get to his head again and Santiago wasn't buying it.

Santiago shrugged off Chad's arm, took a step back. He shook his head, laughing. "No, nope. There is no way you two can get out of this one. By next week Chad Dylan Cooper and Sonny Munroe are going be the hottest couple since Bradgelina. They'll call you –" He stopped to think. "Channy!" He said proudly.

Both Chad and Sonny spoke simultaneously over one another, making their words seem like a mashed up mess.

"No!" Sonny's eyes were wider than before. They couldn't do this. Could they?

"Channy?" Chad said, half-appalled, half-confused by the couple name. It made them sound like Jackie Chan or something.

Chad sighed and shrugged. "Could be worse."

"What could be worse?" Sonny turned to look at him. Her eyes were blaring with panic and distraught. Santiago just kept laughing through this whole scene.

"Our couple name. It could be Bedward." Chad cringed at the thought. It sounded like a bed and squid mixed together. It was about as bad as it gets.

"Love birds," Santiago scribbled down on his notepad. "Have their first fight over couple name. Cooper doesn't think there's enough representation of him. Munroe is furious. Check out the next issue of Tween Weekly for the conclusion." He smiled.

"We weren't fighting – Ugh!" Sonny began to shoo Santiago out of the prop room. "Get out!"

"Munroe is defensive when it comes to alone time with Cooper." Santiago wrote on his notepad, glancing up at Sonny's disgusted face. "Munroe is vicious."

"Go!" She pointed.

"Okay. Thank you for your time. And I'll see both of you on the cover!" He smiled and waved at Chad, who returned the wave and left.

Sonny turned back to Chad, eyes still wide. Never had she imagined that she'd get caught in this big a mess with Chad, but low and behold, here they are. And worse yet is that they'd be working with each other all week. They had to kill this romance before it got out of hand due to the media.

"Chad." Sonny addressed him.

"Already started. Operation: Break-Up is in action."

***

"And so I said, 'I'm too pretty for you.' And he was like, 'Oh, well, Tawni, you're not really that pretty.' And I'm like, 'Oh, yes I am.' And he's like, 'Yes.'. And that's how I dated one guy for a totally of thirty-two minutes." Tawni laughed, applying more lip-gloss, as the _So Random!_ Cast, minus Sonny, headed back to the prop room.

Sonny could hear them coming down the hallway, and so hastily, she put the script in front of her face and began to fake reading it. Chad had left a few minutes ago to go back to the _Falls_ to check up on something. Sonny didn't really understand what he was rambling about, but really she didn't care that much.

Tawni and Zora were the first two to walk through the threshold of the door. Tawni glanced around, knowing that Sonny didn't just sit here the whole time and was hiding something.

"So, Sonny," Tawni began. "Are you ever going to go to lunch? Or are you too busy?"

Sonny moved her scripted and smiled. "I haven't moved since you left. I've just been sitting here. Practicing." She held up the script.

"Liar!" Zora accused, pointing at Sonny while she inspected the photo booth. "Someone's been inside here recently. My secret stash of secret things has been tampered with."

"Oh," Tawni's eyes got larger, and she laughed. "Sneaking boys into the photo booth for a private session. I see, Sonny." She winked.

"No." Sonny snapped back. She repositioned herself on the couch. "Chad was just here –"

Tawni cut her off again. "Oh, _Chad_. How cute. I never knew you went for the bad boys. It's cliché – a self-sacrificing, innocent country girl and an arrogant, self-centered city boy – but oh, well. You've got to take romance where it comes." She shrugged.

"No, Tawni. He was over here practicing the script with me because apparently he's guest starring on _So Random!_ this week. Nothing was going on besides wor—"

"Sonny!" Grady half ran, half tripped into the prop room with Nico in close pursuit. Upon reaching the doorway, Grady, and then Nico, toppled to the floor. Sonny gasped and went over to help them, while Tawni laughed.

"Yes. What?" Sonny asked as she helped Grady to his feet.

"Sonny, you're fraternizing with enemy I see, and you didn't even tell us!" Grady got to his feet only to lose his balance again, once Nico began to pull him back to the ground.

Nico whispered into Grady's ear. "I said keep it on the D.L. This," He motioned around the room, "Is _not_ keeping it on the down low."

A expression of realization crossed Grady's face. "_Oh_, down low. That's what D.L. means. I thought it meant do it loud."

"How would D.L.-- which is clearly two letters -- make three words?" Nico spoke with disbelief. Hadn't he ever been in the outside world? Everyone, but most adults, knew what D.L. meant. To not know what that meant, was to not be a teenager.

"Well, the cat's out of the bag now." Grady sighed. "We should just tell her."

Both Nico and Grady looked up at Sonny, who was leaning over top of them. Her face was scrunched as she attempted to read their expressions. What was going on?

"Just say it." Nico grumbled. He had been hoping that they could have kept this blackmail for at least a week and milk it for all it's worth, but sadly, Grady ruined that excellent plan with his big mouth.

"Sonny, why didn't you tell us you're dating T.V.'s Chad Dylan Cooper? Why, Sonny, _why_? I mean, I thought we were friends! And _So Random!_ cast mates do not get all googly-eyed over any _Mackenzie Falls_ losers. Especially not the king of drama loserville! It's unconstitutional!"

"Yeah, Sonny, _why_!?" Nico added into Grady's rant.

"What!?" Sonny was just as shocked as they were. How did they find out already? The – the quote, unquote – "romantic, love story" between her and Chad wasn't supposed to be announced until next week's _Tween Weekly_.

"I knew it!" Tawni yelled. "You were in the photo booth with Chad! Aww, how cute…" She looked over at Grady and Nico glaring at her. "But completely wrong!" Tawni crossed her arms and stood in front of Sonny. "There's a fine, fine _So Random!_ line you just crossed."

"No." Sonny's hands were out in front of her. "You don't understand. Chad and I were practicing, then we had one of our "fights", and I told him to go in the photo booth, and then we fell out and Santiago was there and, and…." Sonny began to hyperventilate.

"Calm down, Sonny." Tawni said, putting her hands on her shoulders. "And breathe for a second and tell us calmly. And maybe we'll rethink our hatred of you." She paused to think. "Or maybe not."

Sonny calmed herself enough to speak. "Santiago Heraldo caught Chad and I alone in the photo booth and is now writing a story for next week's _Tween Weekly_ about our secret romance. He even gave us a couple name."

"Next week's _Tween Weekly_?" Grady questioned. Sonny nodded. "You know they have a blog that they update with previews of all the new stories for the next issue. Sorry, Son, but you're romance is already global."

"And there's a mob of girls outside the studio holding up anti-Sonny signs. Chad being off the market has caused quite an uproar." Nico added. "I tried to comfort them and offer my services, but they're scary." He cringed at the memory.

"Oh no," Sonny walked slowly and collapsed on the couch. "They're going to eat me alive. You guys got to help us! We've got to 'break-up' Chad and I!"

Nico and Grady stood up at the same time and looked at one another.

"Well," Nico started. "Can't be too hard. We _almost_ broke-up Miss. Bitterman and Marshall. We just got to put a little more oomph into our approach. No problem." He waved his hand.

Grady chimed in next. "With our track record, either you're both going to hate each other _or_ you'll be even more madly in love. It's a 50/50 chance."

Sonny put her face in her hands. "I think I'm going to be sick." She couldn't let this one little slip up destroy the life she had just gotten used.

And even worse was that this could potentially annihilate the sort of friendship she had made with Chad. The thought made her sicker. She had worked so hard to build a bridge over the gap between _So Random!_ and _Mackenzie Falls_ and suddenly, it was breaking beneath her.

"If it means we get to abuse Chad in cruel and unusual ways, I'm in." Zora grinned wickedly. "I'll go get my cow manure catapult!"

"I thought it was you're cold cut catapult?" Sonny took her hands off of her face and raised an eyebrow at Zora. She was always coming up with strange and weird things, but that was her.

Zora laughed. "I've upgraded. You didn't expect me to just settle and be done. A girl's got to expand. How else am I going to patent these things if they only have one function? Duh, Sonny." She rolled her eyes.

"First off," Nico began. "We need a funky codename for this operation. I was thinking something along the lines of Operation: Nico Comforts All of Chad's Distraught Female Fans and Becomes a Love Machine or Operation: NCAOCDFFABALM for short."

"Sorry, Nico," Sonny responded. "But Chad already came up with an operation name. Operation: Break-Up."

"That's a stupid title though. Mine was so much cooler." Sonny glanced at him partially. Nico sighed in defeat. "I guess it's fine, if you're a big drama, attention addict."

"Anyway," Grady broke-up Nico and Sonny's conversation. "Let's map out this master plan. First we're going to need crazy, cool spy gear, and watches. Tons and tons of watches."

Everyone looked over at him, questioning him with their eyes.

"What?" He said, defensively. "I like watches. They're both a fashion statement and a functional piece of equipment. You can't say that about most things."

"Whatever." Sonny rolled her eyes and continued on with the crisis at hand. They had more than enough stuff to think about, let alone trying to figure out Grady's pure love for watches. It was better to just let some things go.

"So, what's the plan, Sonny?" Nico turned to her. "Or are you and Chip Drama Pants the only ones who are allowed to know?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

Sonny shook her head. "Don't worry, I've got the perfect plan to 'break' Chad and I up." She grinned wickedly, imagining the plot she was concocting.

***

Author's Note: So again. Yay or nay? Yes or no, should I continue this? Because I'll just keep writing one-shots if not. Because I have commitment issues and one-shots aren't that much of a commitment. :D Thank you for reading.


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